Understanding Consent: A Commitment to Respect and Healing
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, a time to reflect, educate, and advocate for change. One fundamental truth stands above all: there is no “maybe” in consent. If the answer isn’t a clear, enthusiastic, and affirmative “yes,” then it is a “no.” Consent must be given freely, without manipulation, and can be revoked at any time. Anything less is not consent.
The Importance of Clear Consent
Consent is not just a legal term; it’s a moral imperative. It means mutual understanding, respect, and agreement. Silence, hesitation, or uncertainty are not consent. Consent requires communication, respect for boundaries, and the assurance that all parties are fully comfortable and willing.
How to Communicate Consent
Consent should be active, not assumed. Communicating consent means asking clearly, listening carefully, and respecting the answer. Questions like “Do you want to do this?” or “Is this okay?” create space for honest dialogue. Pay attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues. If someone seems uncomfortable, hesitant, or disconnected, stop and check in. Consent isn’t a one-time checkmark; it’s an ongoing conversation that should continue throughout any intimate encounter. Mutual respect and open communication build trust, safety, and genuine connection.
Sexual Assault: The Stark Reality
Sexual violence remains a pervasive issue in the United States. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center:
1 in 5 women and 1 in 24 men have experienced completed or attempted rape in their lifetime.
81% of women and 43% of men reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment and/or assault during their lifetime.
1 in 3 female victims of completed or attempted rape experienced it for the first time between the ages of 11 and 17.
These statistics are not just numbers. They represent real individuals whose lives have been profoundly impacted by sexual violence.
The Lingering Effects of Trauma
The impact of sexual trauma extends far beyond the immediate event. Survivors often grapple with long-term emotional and physical consequences, including:
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Survivors may experience flashbacks, nightmares, and heightened anxiety.
Sexual Dysfunction: Issues such as pain during intercourse, low libido, and difficulty achieving orgasm are common among survivors.
Mental Health Challenges: Depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation are prevalent; approximately 33% of women who have been raped consider suicide.
Studies have shown that women with a history of childhood sexual abuse are at increased risk for sexual dysfunction and low sexual satisfaction. Factors such as PTSD and depression are often correlated with these sexual health difficulties.
Healing and Support
Healing from sexual trauma is a deeply personal journey, and finding the right support can make all the difference.
Therapy: Talk therapy, especially with a provider trained in trauma and sexual health can be a vital part of the recovery process. One helpful resource is the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). Their online directory allows individuals to search for certified professionals who specialize in sexual health, trauma, and intimacy issues. Working with a therapist who truly understands the complexities of trauma and sexuality can create a safe, empowering space for healing.
Pelvic Floor Therapy: As a biofeedback therapist specializing in pelvic muscle dysfunction (BCB-PMD), I see firsthand how trauma can manifest physically, particularly in the form of pelvic floor hypertonicity, where the muscles of the pelvic floor become overly tight or guarded in response to trauma. This tension can lead to pain during intimacy, difficulty with urination or bowel movements, and a deep sense of disconnection from one's own body. Pelvic floor therapy provides a trauma-informed, body-centered approach to releasing that tension, improving function, and restoring a sense of safety within the body.
If you're seeking a provider with specialized training in pelvic muscle dysfunction, consider the following resources:
The American Physical Therapy Association (APTA), particularly their Academy of Pelvic Health, offers a provider directory of licensed physical therapists trained in pelvic floor conditions. Look for therapists who hold advanced certifications, such as:
WCS (Women's Health Clinical Specialist): This board certification is granted by the American Board of Physical Therapy Specialties (ABPTS) to PTs who demonstrate advanced knowledge and clinical experience in women's health, including pelvic pain, incontinence, and postpartum recovery.
PRPC (Pelvic Rehabilitation Practitioner Certification): Offered by Herman & Wallace Pelvic Rehabilitation Institute, this credential certifies professionals with expertise in treating pelvic floor dysfunction across all genders, addressing conditions related to bowel, bladder, sexual function, and chronic pain.
The Biofeedback Certification International Alliance (BCIA) certifies professionals in biofeedback, including treatment for pelvic floor dysfunction using techniques like EMG biofeedback.
In addition to therapy:
Somatic Sex Education: many survivors benefit from working with a somatic sex educator—a professional trained to help individuals rebuild body awareness, reclaim pleasure, and re-establish a sense of safety in their own skin. Somatic sex education is a body-based approach that integrates touch (with consent), breathwork, movement, and mindfulness to support healing and reconnection.
To find a trained and certified somatic sex educator, consider:
The Somatic Sex Educators Association (SSEA) – an international directory of Certified Somatic Sex Educators (CSSEs).
The Institute for the Study of Somatic Sex Education – includes a list of graduates with specialized training in trauma-informed, consent-based, body-positive education.
Some AASECT-certified therapists also integrate somatic approaches, and their directory allows you to filter for practitioners with body-based or trauma-informed experience.
Finally, support groups, whether online or in person, can reduce isolation and offer space for shared experiences, validation, and hope.
If you or someone you know is struggling, the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or via chat at RAINN.org.
Final Thoughts
As we observe Sexual Assault Awareness Month, let us reaffirm our commitment to fostering a culture of consent, respect, and support. Let us listen to survivors, believe their stories, and work collectively to end sexual violence. Remember, consent is not just a word; it’s a practice, a promise, and a path to healing.
If you or someone you know needs support, book an appointment with me. I can offer education, a pelvic floor muscle evaluation, or provide a referral to a therapist who specializes in sexual trauma. Remember, you are not alone.